The Final Tunes of Coach Wade

[coach]

T'is the end, here we all are at FTC

Time for one of you to win, I wonder who it will be

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast matters to some, but not me

I only desire one thing from both of you; having fun with it is the key

Namaste and congratulations to both of you for making it to the end. I won't mince words here. I don't want to vote for either of you. But since I have to I don't want to be unfair and not give you a chance. Since some people thought of me as a challenge-centric person, I will do just that. You both have to participate in a challenge and whoever wins it gets my vote.

But don't worry. Its not endurance. Its creativity. Both of your opening statements are quite dry. So I want you to make it interesting. Very simple really.

Your challenge is to revamp your opening statement and make a song out of it. Plus points if it is a parody of a famous song and you can fit it such that it can be sung to its original tune. If you choose to do this please provide a link of what song you based it on and the lyrics. You're not limited to just what you have already said in your OS. You can add stuff that you feel you left out if it helps makes the song flow better. Up to you.

I hope both of you participate in this challenge. I will be basing my vote solely on your answers to my question. Good luck to you both and remember to have fun.

[/div]

[burton]

So, the last time I’ve ever written a song parody was around…seven years ago for a school project. I did do good on the assignment, so hopefully I’m still a good parody writer. This song is called “The Read Tribe,” and it’s a parody of American Pie.

Song - www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U
Lyrics - www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/donmclean/americanpie.html

A long, long time ago
I can still remember when I left for the Cayman Isle
And I stepped into Bob Dawg’s place
Into a tribe with nigh familiar face
I wasn’t sure if I’d be here for awhile

Read welcomed me with open arms
Cirie had not been seen so far
No Stacey either to be seen
Where the hell had she been?

I can’t remember if I sighed
When Morgan, Shirin came to our tribe
But a few rounds later I would find
That we had merged tribes

So bye, bye to the Read tribe
Won all the ICs in pre-merge
But now we are no more
And good ol’ Reads had the numbers to ride
But there would be a day when they’d die
There would be a day when they’d…die

Now here we are in Amistad
And Read was up seven to four
Was it to good to be so?
Whitney, Shirin, Coach went off to sea
We sadly said goodbye to thee
But now team Read could no longer be

Because Danni made an alliance without
Nick and Kim, they had to go out
But Burton did not want that
He had to make a move and fast!

So he made up a last minute switch
Ciera left without a hitch
But I knew that Read was out of luck
The day…the Pagonging died

I started singing bye bye to the Read tribe
Worked together for three rounds, now Ciera had died
And Morgan and Sash were still here for the ride
Singing now it was time for Read to die
Now it was the time for Read to die

Now it was time for another Read to go
Danni was immune, so Gabe was chose
But that was the last Read to leave
Because Morgan and Sash were the threats to beat
Once in the finals they would destroy the Reads
With the votes, that came from the jury

Oh, and while they tried to vote out Burton
The Read tribe voted out Sa-ash
The Read mutiny had ended
Morgan had been fended!

And now it was time for the Final 4
Two Reads had to go out the door
Do you recall who had to go
The day, the Read tribe died

We started singing, bye bye to the Read tribe
All the Davis tribe was gone, but now Read had to go fight
And the two big guys had to go out the door
Singing now the Read tribe had to die
Now the read tribe had to die

**skipping to outro because this song has too many goddamn verses**

I won those last two immunities
Trivia, endurance, it all came to me
Burton controlled the last two votes!
I had a choice at the final four
Save Danni or send her out the door
It was the hardest decision I made, to this day

Cause in the end she had to be missed
Now the final 3, with Kim and Nick
The last round was upon us
Sent out on a boat into sea

And I stayed out at sea the longest
And now time came for the final test
I had to vote out who was the best
The day, that Nick died

And they were singing, bye bye to Amistad tribe
Burt and Kim were left standing as the final two guys
Then they faced the jury with their critical eyes
Saying this’ll be the day one of you dies
This’ll be the day one of you diiies

And they were singing, bye bye to Amistad tribe
Burt and Kim were left standing as the final two guys
Then they faced the jury with their critical eyes
This’ll be the day one of you diiies


Thank you Coach! That was more fun than I thought it'd be.

[Kim Spradlin]

Awesome question! I will do my best tonight/tomorrow to get this posted (Along with Gabe's).